I would hate to be a redneck. Even more so, I would hate to be a redneck in a redneck gang.
I hate it when people take pride in shit that isn’t supposed to be prideful.
You’re not supposed to be proud of being in the Klan.
You aren’t supposed to be proud of not being able to know how to read.
You aren’t supposed to be proud of being only 11 years younger than your mother.
Now if being a redneck only meant that the sun cooked the back of your pale white neck and it peeled and turned red then ok.
But that is only part of being a redneck. That part you can’t help.
Everything else that comes with being a redneck however is within your control.
You can be the first family member to move past the eight grade.
No one is stopping you from installing indoor plumbing.
No one is stopping you from getting over "the war of northern aggression".
They say that everybody is good at something but hunting squirrel doesn’t have to be one of the things that you are good at.
A 14 year old kid has been arrested and is facing felony charges after holding an initiation on two young brothers that wanted to join his appropriately titled “Redneck Club”.
He forced a seven year old that he wanted to see if he “had the stuff that they were looking for in a member” to touch a hot stove and a live electrical chord.
Then the two brothers, one aged 12 and the other aged 7 were forced to perform sexual acts on one another while they had a knife to their throats.
When the media asked the mother of Andrew Jones, the leader of the “redneck gang” about the incident she shielded her face from reporters and said through the screen door of her trailer that although she was home at the time she had “no idea what went on.”
Andrew Jones, rednecks answer to Bugsy Siegel is now facing one count of false imprisonment, two counts of lewd or lascivious battery, two counts of aggravated assault, one count of battery and two counts of sexual battery and one count of being an unapologetic redneck of a redneck gang.